The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said
compiled by Ross and Kathryn Petras

Here are my favorite quotations from The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said:
  • "Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -- Gerald Ford
  • "Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans." -- Alf Landon during his 1st presidential campaign against FDR
  • Arnie [Palmer], usually a great putter, seems to be having trouble with his long putt. However he has no trouble dropping his shorts.
  • "Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Danny Ozark, manager of the Phillies
  • "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." -- Charles De Gaulle
  • "I stand by all my misstatements." -- Dan Quayle
  • "If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be." -- Congressman John Bowman
  • "Half the lies our opponents tell about us are not true." -- Sir Boyle Roche
  • "Your medical assistance is cancelled beginning 9/24/84 because of your death." -- Iowa Department of Human Services
  • "Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years, with time off for good behavior?" -- NYS Senator James Donovan
  • On the election of the first Jewish mayor of Dublin, Ireland: "It could only happen in America." -- Yogi Berra
  • "The similarities between me and my father are different." -- Dale Berra
  • "This form must not be used only in cases previously reported on proper blank" -- Official police form heading Cleveland, Ohio
  • "The United States has much to offer the third world war." -- Ronald Reagan repeated this error 9 times in the same speech.
  • "The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." -- Dizzy Dean
  • "What a waste it is to lose one's mind or not to have a mind. How true that is." -- Dan Quayle addressing a United Negro College Fund affair and garbling their slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
  • "I have a great feeling for the soil. My brother is the leading conservationist in the world, and I just love sitting on my bulldozer and experiencing nature." -- Gary Player
  • "Look, I want to give the high five symbol to high tech. ... The truth is, it reminds a lot of people of the way I pitch horseshoes. Would you believe some of the people? Would you believe our dog?" -- George Bush in a speech given at a Ford Aerospace plant
  • "Get the thing straight once and for all. The policeman isn't there to create disorder.` The policeman is there to preserve disorder." -- Richard Daley, mayor of Chicago
  • "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded." -- Yogi Berra
  • "Low earnings seem to be the key reason why someone who usually works full time is a member of a poor family." -- U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics
  • "Sure, I look like a white man. But my heart is as black as anyone's here." -- George Wallace
  • "It was necessary to destroy the village in order to save it." -- an American officer in Vietnam
  • "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical." -- Yogi Berra
  • "You can observe a lot by watching." -- Yogi Berra
  • Year Read: 1993

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