The Stupidest Things Ever Said by Politicians
compiled by Ross and Kathryn Petras

Mostly modern quotations from American politicians. The funniest ones are by Dan Quayle.

The editors assume that anything that is politically incorrect is laughable, which I find annoying.

Here are the best quotations:

Dan Quayle

"Rural Americans are real Americans. There's no doubt about that. You can't always be sure with other Americans. Not all of them are real."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president. And that one word is 'to be prepared.'"

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will never, never surrender to what is right."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind—or not to have a mind. How true that is."

"It isn't pollution that's harming our environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history ... this century's history. ... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

Vice President Quayle's pledge to El Salvador: "The United States will work toward the elimination of human rights."

On Paul Johnson's Modern Times: "It's a very good historical book about history."

On the concept of a manned mission to Mars: "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."

Everybody Else

President George Bush:
"High tech is potent, precise, and in the end, unbeatable. The truth is, it reminds a lot of people of the way I pitch horseshoes. Would you believe some of the people? Would you believe our dog? Look, I want to give the high-five symbol to high tech."

Bill Clinton at a meeting with TV execs:
"I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch.

Bob Dole:
"I'm running for president of the United States because I believe that—with strong leadership—America's days will always lie ahead of us. Just as they lie ahead of us now."

President Gerald Ford:
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."

Al Gore:
"A zebra cannot change its spots."

Guatemalan government official on the execution of political prisoners just before the pope's visit:
"It was a mistake. It shows a lack of politeness to kill people when the pope asks us not to do it."

Senator Orrin Hatch:
"Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."

Jesse Helms:
"Democracy used to be a good thing, but now it has gotten into the wrong hands."

Jesse Jackson on Clinton appointee Bill Lann Lee:
"To reject Bill is a hate crime."

Connecticut governor William O'Neil:
"People don't want handouts! People want hand jobs!"

Unnamed Chicago politician:
"I don't want to cast asparagus at my opponent!"

Unnamed Mississippi legislator:
"More education is not a pancreas."

Vietnamese foreign minister Nguyen Co Thach:
"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."

George Wallace to a largely black audience:
"Sure, I look like a white man. But my heart is as black as anyone's here."

Year Read: 2000

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